How I Deliver: Own the Feedback
When thinking about my own contribution to the annals of ‘How I Deliver,’ my mind went through a number of possible topics. I made a list of areas that I found personally relevant and asked for input from my wife, Sarah. I began with:
- Invest in friendships
- Act now / reply today
- Challenge appropriately
- Provide feedback
- …
At that point, Sarah interrupted with, ‘Feedback. You’re all about feedback.’’ I challenged her (see point #3), noting that I still had more to add to my list. Sarah replied, ‘It doesn’t matter; it’s feedback,’ and walked away. I’m still not sure how to take her comments, but I’m going to bring them up with her in her next performance review.
And so, how I deliver: I make it a habit to deliver, solicit and own feedback. The term ‘feedback’ tends to carry negative baggage. In my context, feedback is an atmosphere where insight is openly shared and viewpoints are challenged. I believe an environment of continual feedback leads to increased team performance and personal growth.
The world is full of defined feedback frameworks. Adopt a method that works for you, and recognize when you need to adapt that style to fit the personalities of those around you. My own thoughts on feedback:
- Set the stage early with everyone on the team—clients included. Clients are often surprised when I tell them I will be providing them with feedback. But the value of it is too great to leave clients out of the feedback loop.
- Recognize successes and point out others’ strengths. Everyone appreciates a ‘good job’ comment. However, take the next step. If someone does something well, explain why you thought so. The ‘why’ separates feedback from cheerleading.
- Be direct and succinct with tough messages. A direct style isn’t appropriate for everyone. However, I personally find that removing ambiguity generally makes awkward situations better for all involved.
- Develop a consistent cadence and, more importantly, deliver point-in-time feedback. We’re all comfortable delivering feedback in a structured agenda setting. However, like most things, timing adds to effectiveness.
- Be honest, open and humble. Recognize your observations are often opinions and not fact.
- Be willing to help others with areas of development. Commit to a relationship where both parties are invested in each other’s continual development.
- Actively solicit support. Be energetic, open and consistent in seeking feedback. Don’t wait for others to provide input for you. Let them know areas you are working on, and ask them for continued observation and guidance.
- Challenge each other. I appreciate it when my requests for ‘a second set of eyes’ come back with red lines.
- Most importantly, own the feedback. Listen and reflect rather than defend actions or behaviors. This was most simply put by a client of mine after I was resistant to some feedback. She simply said, “You asked for the feedback; own it.” That comment was more important than the feedback itself. It stuck.
In closing, creating an active feedback loop is a valuable tool of team- and self-development. It gives you the candor and insight to make a targeted action plan and get results.
See Point B's Point of View on Candor